Geschrieben von CIaudiaUSA am 11.06.2003, 22:00 Uhr |
Considering having (more) children?
Are you considering having children? To determine whether
> you are truly prepared for the experience, we suggest you
> take this set of simple tests...
>
> MESS TEST:
> Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your
> hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the
> stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and
> leave it there all summer.
>
> TOY TEST:
> Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available,
> you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a
> friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try
> to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could
> wake a child at night).
>
> GROCERY STORE TEST:
> Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take
> them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep
> them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
>
> DRESSING TEST:
> Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net
> bag making sure that all arms stay inside.
>
> FEEDING TEST:
> Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend
> from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to
> insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios)
> into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now
> dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
>
> NIGHT TEST:
> Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12
> pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin
> to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag
> and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and
> sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen
> more and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM.
> Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years. Look
> cheerful.
>
> PHYSICAL TEST (WOMEN):
> Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your
> clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 40% of the
> beans.
>
> PHYSICAL TEST (MEN):
> Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter.
> ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food
> store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to
> be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go
> home and read it quietly for the last time.
>
> FINAL ASSIGNMENT:
> Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on
> how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance,
> toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways
> they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never
> allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will
> be the last time you will have all the answers.
Re: Considering having (more) children?
Antwort von Jennabella am 11.06.2003, 22:52 Uhr
Hey there Claudia!
Sure :) this exactly shows my life (I have a daughter (Kimmy, 6 yrs) and twins (Julian & Tricia, 18 mts)) :) according to your name you're living in the US, where exactly? Would love to hear from you!
Take care,
Jenna
Wir wohnen in San Diego und ihr? o. T.
Antwort von CIaudiaUSA am 14.06.2003, 18:22 Uhr
:o)
USA - Amerikanische Reime für Babys gesucht ! Wer kann mir helfen ? LG, Bianca
Spanische Kinderlieder
Jugoslawische krabbelrunde in frankfurt????
Wenn Kinder vorher Englisch sprechen, was kommt dann auf der weiterführenden Schule?
George Saunders "Bilingual children: From birth to teens"
Ot: Weit Reise- Jetlag?
Kommt wer aus Portugal?
Amerikanische Mami von 3 Kindern sucht Email Kontakt!
Polnische krabbelgruppe