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Geschrieben von Tini mit Charlotte am 09.03.2003, 14:09 Uhr zurück

Ist doch bei Osama bin Laden genauso

Erst wird er von den USA gegen die böse UdSSR unterstützt und dann wundern sie sich, daß er ja soooo böse ist.

Kurze Auszüge aus meiner damaligen Afghanistandiskussion im Mehrsprachig Forum:

Amerika hat noch nie alle beschützt, sondern war schon immer sich selbst am nächsten. Das zeigt ihr War Record ja wohl sehr deutlich. Das gute Amiland hält sich ja auch jetzt aus dem International Criminal Court raus und versucht andere Länder zu coercen, gegenseitige Verträge abzuschließen, welche USAmerikaner von der Strafverfolgung ausnimmt. Auch hat Amerika Tribunale eingerichtet zur Strafverfolgung von angeblichen Terroristen außerhalb of the due process of law, welcher constitutional gewährleistet wird.

Erstemal sollte man vor der eigenen Haustüre kehren, bevor man anderen Ländern Fehlverhalten vorwirft.

Hinsichtlich der in 2002 stetig wiederkehrenden Aussage, daß Iraq in Kürze davorstehe, ein Nuklearwaffenarsenal zu haben:
Tja, das Saddam in 6 Monaten Nuklearwaffen hat, wird doch schon seit Jahren propagiert. Aber nun ist es also soweit. Genau wie die böse Sowjetunion sich unbedingt für einen atomaren Erstschlag rüstet und die USa deswegen aber Milliarden in die Rüstungsindustrie steckte und einen Feind erschufen. Was die USA betreibt ist ein Angriffskrieg, welcher verachtenswürdig ist. Verachtenswürdig ist ebenso jeglicher Terror. Das möchte ich nicht bestreiten. Aber Gewalt erzeugt Gegengewalt und ist daher als Konfliktlösungsmittel abzulehnen.

Dazu noch eine eMail die derzeit im Netz kursiert:

This is what is going around on the internet, now a days, regarding France.
One thing to France's favor is, that the French are consistant at
maintaing the image they so deligently crafted for themselves!
Regards. Lili

d.. France's UN Stance Influenced by Iraqi Trade -
Stephen Grey and Jon Ugoed-Thomas

French businesses have become increasingly bold in their efforts to sell
goods that American officials argue are banned under sanctions. Mobile
laboratories, chemicals, and communications equipment are among the goods
being peddled by the French in Iraq. A senior U.S. official last week
warned, "We have a concern that there have been contracts, legal ones,
that have supplied component parts (for the Iraqi military)." Documents
naming thousands of companies that trade with Baghdad were leaked as
France faces accusations that its conciliatory line towards Iraq is
heavily influenced by its extensive business links to the country.

The U.S.'s Livermore National Laboratory analyzed more than
6,000 oil-for-food contracts and warned of the military capability of many
of the goods. One deal by a French company to supply laboratory equipment
was described as offering Iraq a "significant direct application" for a
weapons of mass destruction program. Its report said the most worrying
contract was for pesticide offered for sale to Iraq by Jordan. According
to the report, the pesticide had VX, a chemical warfare agent, as its
backbone and was "only two or more steps" from being VX. (London Times)

Currently making the rounds in the military community:

The Complete Military History of France

Gallic Wars
Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French
history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War
Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates
The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when
not led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars
Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when
fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion
France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

Thirty Years War
France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway.
Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started
ignoring her.

War of Devolution
Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induce deluded 'Frog'ophiles
the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession
Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which
they have loved ever since.

American Revolution
In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims
a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later
known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French
Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution
Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars
Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a
Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War
Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl
home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I
Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States.
Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a
winner, but also one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use
of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French

World War II
Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as
they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina
Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

Algerian Rebellion
Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkish Muslim
force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We
can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

War on Terrorism
France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

Grand Total
Wins = 3, Ties = 7, Lost = 15.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not
be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an
accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

Und folgendem Attachment
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
---Mark Twain

"I just love the French. They taste like chicken!"
---- Hannibal Lecter

While speaking to the Hoover Institution today, Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was asked this question:
"Could you tell us why to date at least the Administration doesn't favor direct talks with the North Korean government? After all, we're talking with the French."
The Secretary smiled and replied:
"I'm not going there!"

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
--Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
---- Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
---Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh,

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--- Regis Philbin

There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.'

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."
--- P.J O'Rourke (1989)

Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.

An old saying:
Raise your right hand if you like the French....
Raise both hands if you are French.

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."
--Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't
help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"
---Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
--David Letterman

"Runaway" by Del Shannon,
"Walk Right In" by the Rooftop Singers,
"Everybody's Somebody's" Fool by Connie Francis,
"Running Scared" by Roy Orbison,
"I Really Don't Want to Know" by Tommy Edwards,
"Surrender" by Elvis Presley,
"Save It For Me" by The Four Seasons,
"Live and Let Die" by Wings,
"I'm Leaving It All Up To You" by Donny and Marie Osmond,
"What a Fool Believes" by the Doobie Brothers,
"Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin
"Raise Your Hands" by Jon Bon Jovi

How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.


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